{"id":393,"date":"2026-03-31T02:03:42","date_gmt":"2026-03-31T02:03:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/illuminatedrootsmn.com\/?p=393"},"modified":"2026-03-31T02:05:24","modified_gmt":"2026-03-31T02:05:24","slug":"start-at-the-foundation-why-therapy-isnt-always-the-first-step","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/illuminatedrootsmn.com\/es\/start-at-the-foundation-why-therapy-isnt-always-the-first-step\/","title":{"rendered":"Start at the Foundation: Why Therapy Isn\u2019t Always the First Step"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lately, I\u2019ve been having the same conversation with parents over and over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think my child needs therapy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And sometimes, that\u2019s true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But a lot of the time, what I\u2019m seeing isn\u2019t a child who needs therapy first.
It\u2019s a child who needs more support, more structure, and more skill-building in their everyday environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And parents who are exhausted, trying everything, and wondering why nothing is working.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I created something to help explain what I mean.
A visual. A reset. A different way of looking at behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Where this comes from<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Before moving into private practice, I spent over a decade working in schools as a school counselor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I sat in countless meetings, supported students across a wide range of needs, and worked closely with teachers and families trying to figure out what actually helps kids succeed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the most effective frameworks I saw used in schools was MTSS (Multi-Tiered Systems of Support).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when it\u2019s done right, it works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It gives structure.
It creates clarity.
It prevents us from jumping straight to the most intensive interventions before building a solid foundation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So this visual is inspired by that model.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because honestly, why break a system that works?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

What parents are seeing<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Most of the time, parents come in describing things like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • meltdowns<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • not listening<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • defiance<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • \u201ceverything turns into a fight\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    And it feels constant. Draining. Confusing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n\n\n\n

    What\u2019s actually going on<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    Underneath those behaviors, I\u2019m usually seeing something else:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    • a child who is overwhelmed<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • a child who doesn\u2019t have the skill yet<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • a child who is dysregulated<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      Not a \u201cbad\u201d kid.
      Not a kid who needs to be fixed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      A kid who needs support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n\n\n\n

      The shift that changes everything<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      The biggest shift I try to help parents make is this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Instead of asking,
      \u201cHow do I stop this behavior?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      We start asking,
      \u201cWhat does my child need right now, and do they have the skills to handle this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Because when we expect skills a child doesn\u2019t have yet, things escalate.
      And when we slow down and teach those skills, things start to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n\n\n\n

      Why I use a pyramid<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      I think about support in layers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Not everything belongs at the top.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Tier 1: The Foundation<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

      This is where most change actually happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n
      • predictable routines<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • clear expectations (before the moment)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • connection before correction<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • consistent follow-through<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • slowing down before reacting<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • parents being supported and regulated<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

        This is the work that doesn\u2019t always feel exciting, but it\u2019s what makes everything else possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n\n\n\n

        Tier 2: Skill Building<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

        This is where we teach what we expect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n
        • naming and identifying feelings<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • learning coping strategies<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • practicing transitions<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • using tools like Zones of Regulation<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • teaching \u201cwhat to do instead\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

          If a child doesn\u2019t have the skill, they can\u2019t use it in the moment.
          We have to teach it outside of the hard moment first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n\n\n\n

          Tier 3: Added Support<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

          Sometimes we need more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \n
          • therapy<\/li>\n\n\n\n
          • evaluations<\/li>\n\n\n\n
          • school supports (IEPs, accommodations)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
          • medication<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

            Some children do need this.
            But not always as a first step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \n\n\n\n

            What this means for parents<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

            If you\u2019re feeling stuck, it doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re doing it wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            It usually means:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              \n
            • you\u2019ve been trying to respond in the moment<\/li>\n\n\n\n
            • you haven\u2019t had the support you need<\/li>\n\n\n\n
            • or your child is being asked to do something they haven\u2019t learned yet<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

              And that\u2019s not a failure.
              It\u2019s just a signal to shift the approach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              \n\n\n\n

              Start here<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

              Start at the foundation.
              Add support as needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              Not everything has to be fixed at once.
              And not every hard moment means something bigger is wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              Sometimes it just means:
              we slow down, we support, and we teach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              -Rachael<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              \"\"<\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

              Lately, I\u2019ve been having the same conversation with parents over and over. \u201cI think my child needs therapy.\u201d And sometimes, that\u2019s true. But a lot of the time, what I\u2019m seeing isn\u2019t a child who needs therapy first.It\u2019s a child who needs more support, more structure, and more skill-building in their everyday environment. And parents […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[18,21,24,10,11],"class_list":["post-393","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reflections","tag-attachment","tag-educators","tag-mtss","tag-parenting","tag-support"],"yoast_head":"\nStart at the Foundation: Why Therapy Isn\u2019t Always the First Step - Illuminated Roots Counseling<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/illuminatedrootsmn.com\/es\/start-at-the-foundation-why-therapy-isnt-always-the-first-step\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_ES\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Start at the Foundation: Why Therapy Isn\u2019t Always the First Step - Illuminated Roots Counseling\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Lately, I\u2019ve been having the same conversation with parents over and over. \u201cI think my child needs therapy.\u201d And sometimes, that\u2019s true. 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