I was dropping my daughter off at Pre-K the other morning when it hit me. She walked in confidently, hung up her backpack, and went straight to her teacher to show her something she had brought from home. Within seconds she was pulled into conversation with a friend. She didn\u2019t look back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I realized something quietly devastating and deeply beautiful at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She has built her own little web.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are adults in that building who know her. Who care about her. Who notice her moods and celebrate her wins. There are peers she gravitates toward. Inside jokes I am not part of. Comfort she finds that doesn\u2019t come directly from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For a split second, it stung.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then I felt overwhelmingly proud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because a year ago, when my own professional world shifted overnight, it was my web that held me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I lost my job last spring, I was freshly postpartum and my identity was still very much tied to being a school counselor. I had long-term plans for private practice, but they were years out. Not immediate. Not urgent. I remember feeling untethered. Disoriented. Stripped of something I had built my adult life around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I was never alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I already had people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Supervisors I trusted. Friends who answered late-night texts. Colleagues who reminded me who I was when I temporarily forgot. Family who stepped in so I could think clearly. Mentors who helped me see possibility when I could only see loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t have to build a web in crisis. I had already built one. And that web caught me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s when I realized something important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We spend so much time talking about independence. We praise kids for doing things on their own. We worry about whether they\u2019ll be strong enough for the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what if we\u2019ve misunderstood strength?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Strength isn\u2019t independence at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The best thing we can do to prepare our children for adulthood is not to teach them to handle everything by themselves. It\u2019s to show them how to build and tend to a web of safe, supportive relationships long before they desperately need one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Resilience is not toughness. It\u2019s connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If a four-year-old can begin building her own small network of trusted adults and peers, imagine what\u2019s possible when we intentionally model what that looks like over time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We can help by:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Letting them see us ask for help<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Naming our own safe people out loud<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Encouraging relationships with trusted adults<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Helping them identify who they could go to if we weren\u2019t available<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2022 Modeling how to repair conflict instead of avoiding it<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That morning at drop-off, when she didn\u2019t look back at me, it wasn\u2019t rejection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was security.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She knows I\u2019m here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And she knows she has others too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And before anyone assumes I\u2019ve mastered this, please know I am in the trenches too. I struggle. I lose my cool. I repair. I try again. That\u2019s the real version.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
~Rachael<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was dropping my daughter off at Pre-K the other morning when it hit me. She walked in confidently, hung up her backpack, and went straight to her teacher to show her something she had brought from home. Within seconds she was pulled into conversation with a friend. She didn\u2019t look back. And I realized […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":308,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[18,17,10,11],"class_list":["post-307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reflections","tag-attachment","tag-motherhood","tag-parenting","tag-support"],"yoast_head":"\n